Curse of Silence

Untitled

2011-10-01T23:29:00.000-07:00

you may see my hands
curling to strong fists
strong enough to crush
all that makes me fragile
but I hope your eyes will
be fixed there
hoping that it will not drop
towards my feet
for I am afraid
that you may see my knees
trembling, crackling whispers,
ready to bend
and to be fragile again
in your presence

2011-07-28T13:45:00.000-07:00

will never be mine
will never be yours
but will always be ours
forever

died on the vine

2011-06-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

I could have stretched the trellis for our free spirits
thriving on this beautiful journey

Untitled

2011-04-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

My lips,
timid as my heart,
burn with words
you needed
to hear
to feel.

Undulated

2011-03-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

You move
and my body shifts ---
Silent waves under
your moonlight skin.

Nebula

2011-03-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

Let's stay here.
Let our souls
discover each other.
Charter
the course of gravity
that pulls our heavenly bodies
together.
Explosions
Constellations
Let it all be consumed
by our eyes,
until our breaths,
our bodies
give birth to new galaxies
of our own.

Reflection

2011-03-23T09:14:00.000-07:00

Waves of sheets,
lingering scents,
echoing moans,
fires of kisses ---
A quick glimpse
of a fleeting night,
just before the
first light of dawn
brings me back
to reality.

Talisman

2011-03-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

Gemstone eyes ---
bearer of fires.
Summon my winged dreams
to distant Eden shores
where long lost desires
lay naked.
Naked and waiting
for talisman hands
to shape-shift it
into a breathing flesh
vesseling my soul

My Words for Breakfast

2011-02-05T07:55:00.000-08:00

'Eat your words'
I told myself one morning
Tastes like just the other pills you've taken
But high in nutritional value
Keeps low-level of humbleness
And gives 100% learn-from-your-mistake
concentrate which is good for your heart and mind.

Eyes Meet

2011-02-05T06:10:00.000-08:00

Intensity flows like current
A swift stare of longingness
Sends a thousand words of a lost love
It has always been there
Chances passing like doves
On our hearts' windowsills

I still think

2011-01-30T07:02:00.000-08:00

I know you don't mind
That I still think
You're in love with me
It wouldn't hurt you
No, not at all
But me, yes
Absolutely
Indefinitely
Sick as I sound
It is a guilty pleasure
Like caviar and vodka.

I plunged to the abyss of memories
You drown me ( you know you can )
And yet I do not fear.

I should be...

2011-01-30T06:46:00.000-08:00

I thought I should be happy for you
A new life that has been waiting there
at your doorstep --- finally filling the corners
For a love that has been waiting
for your arms to embrace --- finally returned
Erasing my footsteps trailing away
through the gate of those years
I am now just a whisper of
i-hope-memories-worth-remembering-once-in-a-while

I just thought that I needed to be happy for you
Because after all it's what I'm always after
Your happiness.

Untitled

2011-01-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

You believe so easily
I fall so fast and hard
We hurt deeply
Then we part
With so much regret
So sad
So late
So soon

1:12 PM 01/12/2011

Let Me In

2011-01-30T06:28:00.001-08:00

Flow
Myself wants to
Over you
Over anew love
Over anew hope
Over anew promise
There's no stopping anytime
This road I'm taking now
Is heading right
To your doorstep
To your heart
Let me in

1:09 PM 01/12/2011

Eyes

2011-01-30T06:27:00.001-08:00

Deep well of desires ---
My eyes
Caught the image of you
Your face remains in its lenses
And even if I close it
You become the bright northern star
In the blackness that drowns
In the presence of you

January 11, 2011 1:15 am

Untitled

2011-01-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

I want to care less
for what tomorrow might bring
I want to learn
to breathe in NOW
To find contentment
of whatever the present can offer
Simply lie on my back
And think through the walls of my ceilings
of what could have been NOW

If you were still here.

1:55 PM 01/07/2011

Untitled

2011-01-30T06:23:00.000-08:00

A little bit of sin
Is not too bad
Like stealing
A glimpse of your smile
You don't have any idea
Nor will ever have
You're the crescent star
At the corner of my eye
I'll never have the strenght
To stare back
For I am guilty

5:37 AM 01/07/2011

Smile

2011-01-30T06:22:00.000-08:00

Is there a price to pay
Just to see that curve from your face?
Will it take for me to morph to a
Perfect image of your standard?
Is it too much to ask
For me to be the reason behind it?
Do you have any idea
How it tickles the muscles of my mind?
Your smile
It's worth a million words
And all the colors in this world
Just one
And it's all that it takes
To set my wings
And fly away to a dream paradise

Written January 3, 2011, 3:00 am

Tormented

2011-01-30T06:21:00.001-08:00

Thought you know me so well
But take a second look
Come closer and you'll see
The light that used to be in my eyes
Fading out slowly
You've set it once
And now you've been trying
Too hard to put it out
You simply can't handle
What I can give you
What you wished for
Now
What was left there
Were just ashes
Of broken promises

Written January 3, 2010 2:50am

The Discoverer

2011-01-30T06:10:00.001-08:00

I want to travel
The skin of your body
With my kisses
With my fingers
With my eyes
Uncover, Discover
your parts
your flaws
your secrets
I'd love to see your beauty
Flow right into my hands
I want you to get lost
With me through this night
Without moving an inch away
From this bed
'Til dawn

Written January 3, 2010, 2:43 am

Gravity

2011-01-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

Your love
Keeps pulling me back to the ground
Where I've learned that the sun is not the only source of light
but also
your eyes
your dreams
your passion
your life
It's the same ground
I can call home
the sanctuary of my soul
my fortress
Sometimes it feels like I've gone to many places
That I've come a long way
But when I try to view where my heart stands
All this time it's just right in the center of your gravity.

12:19 PM 01/03/2011

Untitled

2011-01-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

My body seemed immovable
Weight is growing on my back
But my mind have already gone back and forth
To a place of made-up solitude
Hard as I try
Gravity of pain won't let me be
My soul is dying to fly away
From this ground...
Exactly where you left me.
My eyes seeking for some light
To pierce the sky of a long dawn
And my heart wanting to rest
In the arms of elusive happiness

Written 12/29/2010 3:00am

Questions

2011-01-30T05:55:00.000-08:00

When do you start to pick up the pieces...
when you refuse to accept that you're already broken?
When do you tell yourself it's enough...
when you still come back for more?
What do you do to make it go away...
while you find yourself lost in it ?
What do you need to say more...
while you know that it will never be heard?
Why do you succumb yourself to relentless torturing waiting...
yet you know you're being waited for by far more deserving?
Why do you consume the truth that it will never be...
yet you know deep inside you're still hoping?

12/28/2010 3:00am

Untitled

2011-01-30T05:54:00.000-08:00

You used to make me feel
that I am beautiful
These days I find myself hanging on
through wires and thorns
left raw and drying up
only thriving on the memories of days
when you used to call me your own
Your hand used to warm my skin
and so does your whispers
Now your blank stares
can send in the winter in May
I long to go back to those days
like how the waves hasten to the shore
Will you ever come back to me as you were before?

4:31 PM 11/24/2010

Poem Impromptu

2011-01-30T05:03:00.000-08:00

Marvel

My senses dismissed
At the sight of you
While logic --- silenced
All that exists is the fire
In my eyes
Glowing in awe of you

Gaze

My eyes leap in inches
As if reaching for a destination
Without my body moving
My heart delights
As my gaze approaches
The very ground
Where the subtle light
of your figure stands

Hounding

Loneliness howls louder
In the middle of the night
While the wind never cease
Hounding like a thousand ghosts
In the hope of leaving my soul
Cold and naked

Eternal

If it is with you
Then I shall have faith
When all things rest with death
My soul shall claim immortality
Through you, with you
I will define and shape the eternal

Untitled

2011-01-30T04:55:00.000-08:00

It is a curse
to inflict this pain to myself
flowing from the core of my desire
Or is this painfrom you
---that every word you utter
strikes like darts
to my cherry?

2:11 PM 01/17/2011

Untitled

2011-01-30T04:34:00.000-08:00

Dry as parched earth --- this body is.
I am waiting for your hands like rain.
Have I been waiting too long?
That ...
Your voice summons
Persephone in chariots fire
Your scent lingers infinitely even in the corridors of my mind
And that...
Your stare hunts the beast from the wilds of my deepest desires
Come to me
And
End this
Let the wanting in me
Turns to needing

11/04/2010

Point of Views

2010-12-27T14:53:00.000-08:00

Two things that I've learned about point of views --- First is to never walk away without presenting it; And second is to never dismiss another person's right to send it back. It is another step to learn and another way to strenghten whatever cause you stand up for in life.

Swept Away by Christopher Cross

2010-06-05T06:19:00.000-07:00

I remember singing this song to you in a small videoke room. I passed the microphone to you and I said that I don't know how to sing the rest of the song. Truth is I don't want to cry while singing the song to you because it's true that I see my tomorrows in your eyes.

When a story begins with...

2010-04-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

It is always a sad ending for any story that begins with two people with a love lost, floating on the waters of endless hoping and yearning. What breaks your heart more is knowing that all throughout their lives they know that they're meant to be together and that their souls were half of each other. What happens a few years after makes it even more true: unexpectedly seeing each other somewhere - next thing you know their eyes meeting and it's all coming back to that very first day they said 'I love you'.

You are my invisible anchor

2010-03-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

I have docked from shore to shore and told the world that I have been to places, that I have moved and changed the course of my fate but in the abyss of my heart and my being I know I never left the one place that made me feel home.

You are my ever-fix mark, my unfailing compass and my invisible anchor in this journey I call life.

Untitled

2010-02-22T08:31:00.000-08:00

I may have moved on
towards a new direction
walking on a different road
but I've been kicking
the same old shiny pebble I got
from where we began.

Untitled

2010-02-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

My love for you thrives
between dreaming and awakening

Untitled

2009-07-25T04:17:00.000-07:00

I lose myself
To this place of boundless space
Where time has no voice
Sparks of sweet confusion
And total eclipse of madness and surrender
Of our breaths
Of our bodies
Of our touch
Of everything that holds our being within

I still lose myself
To that place, to that moment
To you
Even by just closing my eyes
Even by just remembering
What we used to do

Untitled

2009-07-25T01:22:00.000-07:00

Time to grow
I'll give to you
Time to search wthin and find yourself
I'll give to you
Time to be certain about things
I'll give to you
Time to accept with no regrets
I'll give to you
Time to understand with your heart
I'll give to you
Time to test your wings and fly for awhile
I'll give to you
Time to realize what you really need from what you just want
I'll give to you
Time to end your wondering and wandering, and finally be home
I'll give to you

Untitled

2009-07-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

If I can tell you
That You can leave me now
Remember that I have gathered
This strength from that of
Which you have have given me all along

If I can say to you
That I can let you go
Know that I draw
This understanding that you see
From the faith that we sowed
From the very beginning

If I can show you
How much I love you
Then I will and I can
Set you free

2009-07-07T01:22:00.000-07:00

I trust what we have like how I trust tomorrow.
I hope for us without borders but without expectations.
I love you like how I should love life and the reasons to live it.

2009-07-07T00:47:00.000-07:00

Just like the waves, we sometimes don’t know if we want to reach the shore and be absorbed by its sands or stay out in the open and live a free circling life in the ocean. We move fast, eager to reach the destination where we both wanted to be, in each others arms forever. Together we have traveled miles of this water where we keep ourselves afloat with whatever we can give or receive. Yet there are days when the open water makes us wonder what if there’s something out there that we are missing - wondering if we are missing the greater waves of life.
You may roll back and forth, taking your time before you reach the shore but you’ll never be alone. I am the wave after you, just always a roll behind you wherever you want to go.

Untitled

2009-07-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

Don't let me fall from high hopes
The wings you've given me
Have taken roots
Deep down my soul

2009-06-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter." – Lewis Carroll

Do you still know where we're heading?
Does it still matter?

I still know
I still remember

Untitled

2009-06-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight like all the other nights
since I've touched your face
I will dream before I sleep
0f you and of more days with you
'Til the end of my days
Only with you

Untitled

2009-06-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

I am the moonlight that creeps in your bed at night
Trying to capture the brilliance of your skin
I glow in your innocence which delights
with the freedom that plays in your shut eyelids

What I know

2009-06-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

I know it's you
because
i hear the tiny laughter of my unborn in your veins
i understand every syllable of your silence
i know the scent of your happiness which my life loves to wear -
morning, noon and night
I know it
beacause
I've never known this before
'til you

Untitled

2009-05-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

It is in my silent breathing thoughts
That I ponder on how beautiful
My life have been
Since the first ray of your light
Touched the windows of my soul

Untitled

2009-05-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

Too few for too much
Only two leaves turned their fates to fall
It is not Autumn at all

No more poems

2009-02-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

No more sweet tongues of rhyming love

Of flowing ink from veins of passion

All

that needed to be known

that needed to be heard

transcended

All because

You have become poetry itself

Of my life, of my love.

January 22, 2009

9:21 AM

Morning

2009-02-09T18:18:00.001-08:00

There are mornings when I try to reach my hand out

Wanting to grasp the other side of my bed

My fingers needing to feel your face

My eyes slowly open like a waking flower longing for sunlight

And I realize you're not there

And every time I wake up to the same picture

I ask myself

What is morning without the sun?

January 23, 2009

7:17 AM

When was the last time you felt good about yourself?

2008-11-30T11:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a good example. My wife and I found two kids outside our gate, asking for alms door to door. Both children were untidy and look like they have eaten neither breakfast nor lunch. We asked them to come with us to a nearby sari-sari store and bought them some cupcakes and orange juice. We noticed that the older brother was barefoot and has a big wound on his right sole. I can see that he’s in pain while walking with her 3 year old sister. My ever generous and compassionate wife suggested that we buy him a new pair of slippers. We asked the kids to stay on the bleachers outside the store and finish their snacks while we look for slippers. The market place is only five minutes away from home so we were able to get back just after they’ve finished their snacks. I can see in his small eyes that he is so delighted with his new pair of slippers, though maybe in his shyness he cannot manage to give even a tiny smile. We also bought a new pair of sandals for his little sister; unfortunately it’s too small for her. But still we gave it to them just in case they have a younger sister. The last thing I told the little boy before we left was to take care of his sister.
It felt so good inside. It delighted my soul. For a moment I realized how complete I am and that completeness flows in abundance that I can even share it without fearing that I’ll ever run dry.

Addicted to the Sensation of Agony

2008-10-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

I do not invite and enjoy misery of any kind just to be pitied by others or admired for forbearance but it is thru this sensation that I feel more alive – watching my self bleed while I strive to breathe.
We need pain, misery, sorrow and failure. We need it because it fetches the finest character in us. It teaches us to reckon success, happiness and even pleasure with such depth that changes every strand of our being.
So the next time you see yourself under a cloud, just go ahead and pump the rain out of it. Let it pour on you. Let it magically wash you for sometime. After that you’ll begin to appreciate better the warmth of the sun, not just the usual smile that your face gives when you see it shine.

To my Zenith & Nadir

2008-10-14T17:29:00.001-07:00

It is in this time of my life that it occurred to me ---
Tears not flowing upon the feet of sorrow and pain
But tears that roll at the sight of absolute happiness.
My ever moving happiness, hear me ---
I love these tears you give me.
It washes all the sadness in my eyes.
And if I can, I’d contain it in a jeweled vial
As if it is an elixir wringed from my heart and soul.

The One Minute Closure

2008-10-07T18:44:00.000-07:00

How far will you go?
You'd do anything
I need you
I need you to let go
I will let you go
But I need you
Because I love you
If you love me then let me be
I will
Because I love you

No Vacancy

2008-10-05T14:56:00.000-07:00

If there’s a pang in my heart now it is not something to be sad or worry about. It’s simply a lack of space for something that is bigger occupying every inch of it. Every muscle, tissue and vein stretched out to give way to an everyday growing dweller, powerful enough to consume me. Love, yes, nothing else. No space for hatred or regrets, just love. It fills me up and then whirls inside like a giant black hole. The intense gravity gathers my being and then the most beautiful thing happens…
I burst into millions of stars, planets and galaxies. Almost seems like giving birth to a whole new universe. And the best thing about this is that it happens with every beat of my heart, with every chance that I get to realize that I am loved and that I can give it back.

Swept Away

2008-10-05T13:14:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of any way to describe it better. I'm afraid that my lack of taste to judicious words might disappoint the very thing that keeps me breathing. But neither do I find it necessary for any additives for something that is already intense. I hope I can give justice to it --- I say it as it melts in the palate of my passion.

I am falling endlessly.
Deeper everyday.
And there's no intent to halt at all.
I have inside me an entity bigger, stronger than I am.
And it seems so true that wild things do run fast.
The inertia is an absolute apathy at this point.
I was swept away too many times and I am still, as before, drifted by its course.

It’s a total surrender of my being to something painfully sweet like a scalding desire.

Wild Things Run Fast

2008-10-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

I couldn't think of any way to describe it better. I'm afraid that my lack of taste to judicious words might disappoint the very thing that keeps me breathing . But neither do I find it necessary for any additives for something that is alredy intense. I hope I can give justice to it --- I say it as it melts in the palate of my passion.

I am falling endelessly.

Deeper everyday.

And there's no intent to halt at all.

I have inside me an entity bigger, stronger than I am.

And it seem so true that wild things do run fast.

Hands

2008-10-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

This morning I was stopped by the image of my hands. The creases and wrinkles are twice as much as last year. I started wondering where it all came from or how I got it. There was a vague flash back (or maybe just a tickle of my imagination) of my own tiny soft hands held by one warm finger. My baby hands! So small and all it can grab was my mother’s finger. That’s all I saw and snapped back to reality then I looked at my hands again. It looks old and weary but still very able. If my hands can talk it can probably remember more of my life than my short-termed memory. It was the very tool of my every action, the messenger of my every thought and deed, and my savior when I turn mute. It makes the obvious even more alive when it hits its surface.

September 29,2008

Fledge

2008-08-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

When the wind is steady at night
And the stillness of your gaze is bright
To my body it shifts the angles of my light
My state morphs to a being capable of flight

Better Half

2008-07-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

April 22, 2007
Sunday
8:44 am – 9:42 am

Sometimes people see only one side of love. Without my presence, without my existence known to them I am but a name. But it’s alright; it is her love that I want the whole world to know. How deep, how beautiful, how amazing, how intense, how powerful. To her closest friends, to her family and to all her acquaintances I am someone who just got lucky; someone bathing in the benefits of her love. And that anyone would love to take my place for a day.
I never ask of glory from love, all I wanted, needed was her. I don’t care if no one knows how much I love her; how deep, how beautiful, how amazing, how intense, how powerful. Knowing, understanding and believing what I have for her are enough. And if I have to be the only one to know, to understand, to believe I’d still go on. The thought of an existing love, returned or not, is what keeps me alive. I celebrate it alone; no need for compliments from friends or anyone how blessed she was to have me. Alone I rejoice because I have learned to love again.
I will never speak to the world of my love for her and no one will. But the wind, the moon and stars, the endless sky, the earth I walk upon, the sun, the birds they were all witnesses and I don’t know how to keep them quiet. My bed, pillows and sheets heard me a hundred times murmuring her name before I sleep at night, well maybe I could always wash them but what if my voice and my thought had become it’s threads that made it soft and warm at night? Then it’s hopeless. I almost forgot my shoes. Yes they know a certain road that I love to take. It’s the path that leads to her home. They know the way and they know how my feet, my heart dances with anticipation as I start my journey to home--- her arms, her smile, her kisses, her thoughts, her dreams, her love. Should I burn them to keep them shut?
In the end it is love that matters, not really the people that had become instruments of its existence. It is a circle that keeps us all in its center. No matter what kind, it is of one root and it had kept me nourished, alive and had kept my own world breathing.

The pen is mightier than my memory

2008-07-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

April 18, 2007
Wednesday
6:24 pm – 6:51pm

I’ve forgotten how to write a letter or perhaps I’ve been refusing myself to do so. There was a lot to say for the past few months. My heart, my hands are burning to write but a part of me would always say it’s not yet time. A part of me would always say to wait for the perfect time and the perfect place (probably far away from where I am now; far away from everyone). But when? Where?
The pages and spaces of my Starbucks journal is not enough. Every time I write I have to fabricate a day’s memory into it’s simplest from. The best and most beautiful details are gone and emotions are usually held back to avoid downpour of words. This is very unfortunate for me. Writing is the only way I know to preserve what I treasure, my memories.
Since childhood, among us three daughters, I’ve always had the poorest memory; always the slowest to learn. I probably passed scholarship grants back in college not because of good memory handy for remembering lessons from tons of textbooks but maybe because of simple hard work and a bit of guts.
Only through writing would I know how I’ve lived my life. I know it’s quite odd but I always have this feeling that I’ll lose my memory at a very early age, probably between my 40s or 50s. Fear of the unknown, of things I’m not even sure that will happen in the future. I was thinking too much of the anesthesia that was used to me before during dental operations, and of that time when I tried to overdose myself with memory enhancers to make sure that I pass the next scholarship evaluation. Maybe these things have affected my memory. There were lots of times back in college when I would bang my head to the wall because of unbearable headache. That may have caused my poor memory as well.
I know that the people around me would always remind me of how I’ve lived my life regardless if they cared for me or not. But the details of how beautiful life was; how life was presented with life; how life found reasons and meaning --- I guess it’s only me who can tell. This should be one good reason why I should write.

To Forgive is to...

2008-07-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

April 22, 2007
Sunday
10:56 am – 11:42 am

Why is it so hard to forgive sometimes?
Maybe because we know we’ve committed mistakes less than others, than the person who have done us wrong. We think highly of ourselves.
Maybe because we know we have given so much for something or someone and it makes us look seem so perfect that we are bathing in our own rightfulness. Our generosity, our kindness becomes an excuse. It becomes a banner on our heads to let everyone know that we don’t deserve such pain.
Maybe we’re afraid to be abused. After giving chances we might receive more of this pain that we try to avoid.
Maybe we want the other person to suffer first with the waiting we make, making them beg to death.
Maybe being unforgiving is revenge itself and it’s the only way we know how to get back.
Maybe the silence that unforgiveness makes is a weapon, a knife that slashes the soul of a weeping repent.
Forgiving is what helped mankind survive through ages. For if we do not forgive we would all perish in the hands of hatred, of revenge. We forgive not to delight and pass the soul of the one who repents but we forgive for our own sake. For when it is our turn to repent it is not only the ears but the heart that listens, that understands, that forgives.
Today I ask for forgiveness. First from myself. I have denied myself of freedom to change and to embrace chances. I have built a cell around me that will forever tell me that I don’t deserve such good things in life; that I am only second to anyone; that I am limited; I am only embraced by this world but not life itself; that I am sin itself.
In order to forgive myself I have to realize that I am made out of love and of love and that I am capable of multiplying myself and the love that I have in me. Love itself is the hand of forgiveness that extends to every corner, to every soul.
It is the thought of being abused that blocks the courage to forgive. But we never realize that we become instruments of survival. Because mistakes are daggers of the soul and the cut it makes can only be healed by forgiveness. Left unhealed, it becomes fatal and the body dies but the soul wanders weeping through the banks of life.
Today I survived forgiven by others so that I may help others to survive by forgiving them.

Note from the first flowers sent

2008-07-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

I sent you these flowers
to make them see
that their beauty
is but a fading one
once they see yours

Sleeping with the enemy

2008-07-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

The habit of dwelling in the arms of a foe
in time of loneliness
Only when I permit a visit that I am envelope
by its stares
And my soul shaken and shivered
by its fingers
Why do I ever listen to its knock?
After that I am left naked in my bed
Raped by its unforgiving words

01.03.08

I am

2008-07-18T14:34:00.000-07:00

I am the axis of my life
And the universe of my ever revolving destiny.

01.01.08

Silent Battles

2008-07-18T14:27:00.000-07:00

My battles often happen in silence
It is when the chariots of fear are clearly heard
The banners of sorrow visible from afar
And once I hear the horn
I know it's nearly coming
The arrows of pain are soon to rain my heart
I see myself standing in the middle of the battlefield
Choosing to be still
And battle silence with silence

01.02.08

Falling Up

2008-07-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Suspended in lightness, highness
Almost touching the clouds
Gliding the air with feathery companions
My hands can play the forest canopy
My shadow floats on every body of waters
But I have never set foot on the ground
Not even close enough to feel the ants' heads
I have stayed in this state for the longest time
Since I've met you.

Office Break

2008-07-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

Today I seek for new things to explore

‘Bout the world beneath my feet

‘Bout the opportunities under my fingertips

And I found how greatly chances were missed

The moment I stop to look for more

I realized that when the dreaming stops

Slowly, unconsciously I become

A part the earth ready to be blown by the wind

Or drowned by the rain

I decompose (Slowly, unconsciously)

Become a matter of insignificance

A particle of non-existence

And so I dream

August 29, 2007

8:40am, Office

Your laughter

Like little bubbly brooks

Tickling the back of my head

Carving tiny bends on my soft banks

Whistling like the Nightingale

Your laughter

Like long tailed shooting stars

Shattering all loneliness

Filling the abyss of my soul

Firing light to my sleeping darkness

Your laughter

Like a treasure box

Where I keep all the good things I want

Where I find everything that I need

Where I draw all that completes me

Anne's laughter

August 21, 2007

Office

In the heart of a storm

I see your eyes

I hold on to its brightness

And I stood still

I feel the weight of your stare

Holding me, pulling me

Back to the ground

The wind rages and yet

Your words filter the sand

That whirls to blind my eyes.

Storm

August 23, 2007

10:00am, Office

A different poetry,

I’d like to write.

Its words are painless for the senses to absorb.

And the song it composes, for the soul is effortless to sway with.

And the depth and height are within reach of reality.

No towering words and no riddling rhymes

Just plain poetry to ease one’s heart and mind.

A different poetry.

November 11, 2007

1:00 am, Office

I'm counting the hours, minutes, seconds...

At the end of this day

I don't want to be anywhere else but in your arms.

Aching to feel your warmth, to thaw my frozen skin and to thrust my numbed heart.

(For longingness have caused this numbness)

Hungry to feel your touch, to ripen my barren soul.

I am lost without your presence, like a wandering dead bush in the desert.

My clock tells me

In a few, I’ll be with you

Long wait will be over

And I will be real again…

Tasting, seeing, hearing, feeling

Love and You.

Body Clock

December 1, 2007

8:45 am

Office

Traces

Could be road trails

Could be broken branches or leaves

Could be tiny puddles

Could be mist or fog

Could be footprints

Could be laugh lines

Could be wrinkles

Could be scars

Could be cobwebs

Could be empty rooms

Could be bed unmade

Could be lipstick marks

Could be finger prints

Could be fallen hair

Could be unfinished writings

Could be hanging words

Could be silence

Could be a lot of endless lists

All created by ideas, intentions, moods, inspiration, and all that pushes us to move, to feel.

All leading to an end or continuance of an existence.

Traces

December 1, 2007

12:40 pm

Office

The icy, salty water sliding down your cheeks,

It freezes my heart until it’s numb, until it stops.

Undated.

Looking at you I see

Ember dying

Soul searching

Heart losing its way

Come to me my love, my life.

Let me rescue you

Stay close to me and let me smolder that lost love for I have never lost my fire to desire you, adore you, cherish you all my life_____ constantly burning because of you, for you and only you.

If your soul is searching, let me be the one to hold your hand.

Let me be the one you see in your dreams whom you’re walking with hand in hand through fields, mountains, valleys, hills, and all roads. We will not stop ‘til we find what will make your heart delighted, contented, fulfilled.

I will come with you because what makes my heart delighted, contented, fulfilled is you.

Look at me and follow with your heart the path that my eyes will lead you for it only sees one door ______ a door that will lead you and me back to us.

Come to me my love, my life

Falter but don’t let go

Take your time but don’t take too long

Our love is bigger, stronger than us

Draw your strength and hopes from it

Tower your faith and trust on its foundation ____ of which our hands and hearts have built from the very beginning.

We are not perfect but the love born of our imperfections thriving to grow together, filling each others’ gaps _____ that is perfect.

There is no other way to love you but this.

I have said what I’ve said because

I have dreamt of living and dying in your arms

And I intend to make it real.

Relight

December 24, 2007

8:00 AM

Office

I choose to surrender and not fight at all because I choose to fall in your arms and lay at your feet.

Defeat Me.

The fall

December 28, 2007

9:15am

Office

Tracing your face and remembering your grace

I saw my self rained on with thousands of words to portray you

Soft, tickling raindrops almost never ending

Rain

March 12, 2008

8:44 pm

Office

Tagpuan

2008-07-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

Sa iyong mga mata
Nagtatagpo ng lihim
Ang buwan at ang araw
Dahan-dahan, unti-unti
Naglalaho ang ulap
Upang hubdan ang kalangitan

12.07.08

Winter End Haiku

2008-07-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

Afternoon sinking
Looking forward to my rest
Sadly without you
27.12.08

Caught myself waiting
Flying thoughts, floating feelings
Coming home to you
27.12.07

A puddle of gloom
Broken branches of yearning
Gray skies of anguish
28.12.07

Last days of the month
Squeezing the juice of good times
Forget not the learned
28.12.07

I aim to be there
And you will be my last stop
Where all my roads end
29.12.07

Seasons change the leaves
And so does time changes people
Nothing stays the same
29.12.07

Dark clouds hovering
My heart left outside in cold
Nothing I can do
29.12.07

I need to see now
How your fire can burn me slow
Almost into ashes
29.12.07

It's through and by love
That faith and hope thrives in grace
Blossoms even on snow
30.12.07

To forgive others
An advance decompense for
An err awaiting
30.12.07

Holding you close now
I only felt a cold soul
Seeking for the light
30.12.07

New galaxy born
In her eyes I see it moves
Each time I touch her
01.01.08

Like virgin snow
Your skin, i would love to ski
Leave trails of desire
03.01.08

Heart wild in yearning
Even if pain palpitates
Forever in veins
17.01.08

Like cracks on my wall
Memories of faith and love
Left traces last year
20.01.08

Ode to Imani

2008-07-12T14:00:00.000-07:00

Daugther of fire & faith
Disciple of passion & poetry
Cradled by the hands of beauty & nobility
You are muse who walks this earth
with unchanging form.
A glimpse of your promethean hands
and roses spring even in winter.
Let me walk your hidden temple
and let my life be an incense
burning at your presence
rising and fading in your heavenly loft
while my ember forever burning at your feet.

29.12.07